Open or Close?

I was djing at this milonga and playing a nice tanda of Calo con Beron. One of the guys who has been dancing for a couple of years asked one of the local teachers to dance. She was a dynamic dancer who has danced and performed with some of the biggest names in Tango. She gracefully accepted the invitation and embraced him. This guy, whom I know, danced decently. He walked with the music and did slow giros. Slowly the teacher closed her eyes...

All of sudden, he decided to open up the embrace and started performing some forever tango stunts, which was clearly beyond his physical capability. Looking at the expression of her stern face, trying to dance to his lead, I shook my head: this guys hadn't figured it out yet. He hadn't found his tango.

A couple of weeks later, at the same milonga I was dancing with a beautiful young woman from out of town. She had a decent embrace, dancing quite nicely. Our cheeks were touched. I was breathing smoothly, and I could hear her breathing. A moment of tranquility...

That lasted only less than two minutes, she went in and out and danced close to open afterward. The whole tanda, except the first two minutes, I had to figure how to dance with her. It was like trying to sleep, but constantly being waken up. I hadn't asked her to dance again, although she was very beautiful young woman.

I have paid attention to how good teachers, dancers and performers dancing socially in the milongas. Most of them don't break the embrace and do the amazing things that they do in the performances. Most of them dance very calmly, one step at a time. The ones who are moving like chicken without a head, showing everything they have learned yet mastered on the floor are the clueless wannabes.

There are nothing, in my opinion, that one wants to express in the music or communicate with partner, that one couldn't do it within the embrace. You could, however, find a lot of things missing in the open embrace.

Don't follow me

I said to a young woman, whom had danced only six months but seemed to be a natural tanguera with warm embrace, at a practica.

"I don't follow you?" She was surprised, not surprisingly from anyone whom had been taught to follow the "leader"/men from the first class.

"Follow the music and your own body." I smiled, hoping that she would somehow catch the idea, not turning into one of the many women whom just try to follow the movements of the men. I then showed her what I meant, briefly.

It could be overwhelming, this information. It took me almost two years, from Javier's lesson of "being selfish" to my turning point discovery of "the most important dance...", to start dancing without first thinking about how to lead.

Tango is not about leading and following.

If you think of tango as a conversation between the two, then leading and following is like reading from the script. If you think of tango as a dance of improvisation, then leading and following is like choreographed. If you think of tango as man showing the beauty of the woman, then the woman has to know how to shine when the opportunity arises.

The experience of dancing with a woman whom just follow, regardless how impeccable her technique is, is utterly uninspiring. And vice versa (Marite's response at the end of the post).

Giving and receiving

Simba's post "important difference" echoed a sentiment that I've been having: I like to receive as much as I give in tango.

According to my tanguera friend, whom had a few conversations with our teacher at Tangocamp and in BsAs, his philosophy is to give love to all regardless if you expect it to be returned or not. you are there to please the other person. I like that idea, and always follow it reasonably well. And on the blogsphere, there are good amount of posts about how a man should take good care of woman and give a good time to the woman in the dance.

But how about us, the man? What gives us the pleasure of tango? What kind of woman gives us the "ah..." at the end of song, the heart rate that equals to 30 minutes on the treadmill, or in my case, an tangorgasmic experience that I had to hold my tears?

I had a few conversations with my fellow tangueros (the ones whom are popular in the milongas). Yes, men talk too. :-) The most we talk about: a woman's embrace...

The first time I came back from Buenos Aires, I ranted about the change of embrace on this side of the world; distant, somewhat cold (or nervous) and unnatural as oppose to warm and comfy. It has been close to two years since my first trip back and I have been dancing with hundreds of different women. The more I dance, the more I realize that embrace is as much about technique as attitude; much less to do with experience. Tina has this post that has been always inspiring.

Some of the warmest and most comfy embrace I have experienced were from women had danced just a few months to less than three years. And it is not about particular group of women. The Asian, European and North American can embrace just as well as the Portenas. Some portena's embrace can feel cold and stiff. Again, part technique, mostly attitude.

The attitude of giving. The attitude of pleasing the other person.

Sometimes one has to give in order to receive.

Royce's tango music posts

Thanks to Royce's recent music posts, my check amounting balance has just decreased triple digits. But seriously, anyone serious about tango music should check out her latest posts.

Here is her blog. Enjoy, and watch your wallet. :-)

BTW. The joy of listening to good tango music is... PRICELESS.