Tango is internal.

I used to be puzzled yet at the same time fascinated by some of my close tanguera friends' tango experiences. How certain men would make them feel...using their own words: "opening up like a flower", "that he knows every inch of my body"... or simply "orgasmic". I felt jealous when I listened to these tales.

Just about one year after I started dancing in the milongas, I had already received compliments. Women told me sincerely how beautiful my various partners and I looked together. Some men, who had danced for a longer time, pat me on the shoulder and said that they were going to steal a few moves from me. I knew that I could make women look beautiful dancing with me and make most of them dreaming in my embrace. Everyone told me I was a good dancer, but I wanted to be the best.

When I was not dancing in the milonga, I liked to just sit and observe. I paid attention to how people move and what expressions they wore on their face. And I observed a couple of said men dancing. At first, I felt unjustified.

There was this man, who a friend of mine said that she would go to a milonga just to hope to have a tanda with him. I looked at him barely dancing and questioned " his movement doesn't have music. "

"Oh... he is so musical."

I don't understand women... I have twice better posture and movement than this guy. My walk is much more elegant. I definitely dance better than this guy. Hmmm!!!

There is this instructor from BsAs. The first time I saw him dancing. I thought to myself " What's the deal?"

He didn't move much. The woman in his embrace wasn't what you would call dancing either, movement was sporadic. Yet the expression of the woman's face was intriguing: eyes closed, small beads of sweat falling through their pink cheeks. A lot of women were thrilled to dance with him. According to some, dancing with him was a tangasmic experience.

I believed the first hand accounts of my friends. But I didn't understand or start to understand till this post.

Shortly after, one summer night, I was at this outdoor milonga. The night was beautiful. The music was alternative, a beautiful guitar piece by Chris Spheeris. I took this tanguera friend's hand and embraced her. She was on her platform sandal, and I my flip flop. The floor was uneven wood plank. We didn't dance the way we used to dance. I didn't even lead ocho. We just embraced and breathed together. Walked slowly, one step then another...

She told me after that she hadn't felt this way for a long time.

Me neither... I finally start to get it:

Tango is internal.

We really don't need to do all these movement to connect with the other. Sacada, volcada, boleo, open embrace, fluid embrace...etc these are all external, like how many different positions does a couple have to do in order to achieve orgasm? Or does one have to do a series of movements in order to reach the deepest and most tranquil state in meditation?

I like what maestro Juan Carlos Copes said:

Lo más difícil del tango es hacerlo fáci
Lo más difícil del tango es caminarlo.
Lo más difícil del tango es sentirlo y demostrar lo que se siente.
Algo muy distinto que bailar para los demás.
El tango se lo baila para uno…
(first read it here)

although it took a few years for me to understand.

Crash

The unpleasant aftereffect of an orgasmic tango experience is the inevitable crash, the emptiness that follows as hollow as black hole. After having that experience every night for four night straight, dancing till exhaustion, one could only imagine the severity of the crash.

I am not alone. A buddy of mine has been disinterested of dancing since he came back from a trip a couple of months ago. He hasn't gone out as often lately. Whenever he was at the milonga, he hung out most of the time. We have mutual sympathy for each other.

I don't know how long this will last. It is not a plateau or a slump. I am still improving technically. I have been trying to go out and dance. I have had some good tango experience.

But good isn't good enough.

Some asked: " Don't you wish that you haven't had that experience? "
" Better missing it than never had experienced it. " I answered.

Dance with the stars

So I was at this milonga and witnessed a theatrical scene... to say the least.

One of the local tangueras went to a well known tango "star" and commanded for a dance. After being turned down, according to "first hand" recounting, she threw a fit and berated him with names and something like " you are in my country. You will do what I told you...". Then she slapped him and was countered. She went to ground... and all hell broke loose. She subsequently threw a glass of RED wine to him and a few people sitting with him got some of that... including a teacher I have respect for.

I was dancing a milonga set with a friend of mine on the floor. I passed by the spot, annoyed by the commotion. What I saw was that the woman on the ground, then got up and went after the "star"; the star was refrained by his friends to execute a front kick, no mistakenly a trained martial arts move. I danced away immediately from that spot and only stopped when the commotion grew wilder at another corner.

Well, this post is not about who's right or who's wrong. Nor about discussion of public opinions of this sort of things. So I would delete any comments in that nature. And of course, no names will be revealed publicly, although I suspect the gossip will spread around if it hadn't already.

The post is about dancing with the "stars".

First of all, let me make my position clear: I don't believe in calling or labeling anyone "star" or "deity", let alone "god or goddess.". They are just normal human beings who happen to excel in their profession.

Secondly, it is delusional to think that just because one has danced with and being seen dancing with a "star", that one's tango status has immediately elevated. A "star" dances with regular dancers for many reasons: y0u are a student or a target student, you are the DJ or the organizer, you are an acquaintance or a friend, you are deliciously gorgeous and in a sexy outfit, or in few cases that you are really good dancer...

Thirdly, your "deities" are also human beings. They could get tired, impatient or drunk. Sometimes milonga is the place they relax after a long day of teaching and performing. They surely don't the obligation to dance with anyone whom they don't feel like dancing.

I have been to four festivals this summer and all these festivals were stuffed with who is who in the tango world. Some of the female "stars" were generous to dance with common folks. Yet few of these common folks were really into the dance itself. They rather took the opportunities as a chance to show off their ridiculously shabby skills, pretending to be another "superstar", dragging and flinging the women around. I felt sorry for the "star" whom, sometimes being dragged on the floor, had to endure the torture and couldn't get off the floor quick enough once the music stopped.

I once asked a performer whom happened to be an acquaintance and sometimes would ask me for a dance in local milongas, at a festival milonga. She just performed that night with a well known tango "god". She first told me that she was bit drunk and would like to dance later. I pressured her because a few people (among, one of the godesses in tango world, if you will) were around and my pride got better of my sense. She got up and danced with me. We didn't connect, despite my favorite orchestra was on with my favorite songs. I tried, but she was not there. She could be tired and bit tipsy, or just dance with me because I insisted. Technically, we danced well. But I didn't enjoy it, nor could I imagine she did.

At another festival milonga in a faraway country, I was standing there looking for a partner to dance the Tanturi con Campos tanda. There came a woman standing next to me, coffee in her hand and singing along with song in Spanish. Although I don't often invite woman whom I haven't seen dancing before, I figured if she could sing along, she couldn't be a bad dancer. I caught her eyes and invited her. She was a bit surprised but told me that she could dance with me after she finished the coffee. A guy came by, greeted her and then asked her for a dance. She hesitated for a moment and explained to him that she promised to dance with me. (in Spanish they spoke). The guy apparently insisted so they went to the floor. I found out later that he was the organizer and she was one of the big "stars" who dances with the biggest name in nuevo world. I could have asked her for a dance again in the coming nights, but I didn't. Instead I danced with the regular dancers whom embraced me and gave me a hell of experience that I had never felt before.

I still look to dance with the "stars", not because they are the "stars". It is because some of them are amazing tangueras. I want to dance with them when they truly like to dance with me, that we could mutually enjoy the dance. Just like they enjoy dancing with some of their fellow "stars". (I have also seen them dancing with the fellow "stars" for the sake of just to dance with an acquaitance.)

In the end, for me the ultimate tango experience does not depend on with WHOM I dance. The ultimate tango experience occurs when two open their hearts, embrace each other and share the moments.

"The most important dance is...

... the one that happens inside us."

I stole this title from a lovely and beautiful tango friend of mine. I've meant to write something about this for a long time. Words had escaped me.

A few months ago, I was in my worst tango slump. My favorite music didn't inspire me. I was on auto pilot most of the time, doing just steps. I felt I was repeating the same steps/sequences over and over again, and with the same partner. The energy was flat and I rushed to chase the music. I felt bored of myself for not being creative. I thought I didn't know how to dance any more. Some told me that I'd reached a plateau. I felt I was regressing.

I went for a private lesson with my first tango teacher.

"There is nothing wrong with your dance. Your technique is good, walk is nice, embrace is comfortable, and very musical..." She said to me, after danced a song or two. " What's wrong is up here. " She pointed to my head, jokingly.

"I had been there before. I understand. You need to forget about having the perfect technique, posture and steps. Try to find the tango within when you dance..." Break the mode. "and take your time, like tasting wine, sip it...like tasting chocolate, let it melting in your mouth."

Find the tango within...I chewed on it.

The next few weeks, every time I stepped onto the piso, I took a moment and looked inside. It was like a self meditation (or inner gaze). What moved me? Was it the woman whom I was about to embrace, the music or the energy of the place? I tried to find my own presence before I embraced the woman.

Then something magical and powerful happened. The connection was amazing. When I danced with beginner/intermediate level women, I felt that they were calm and following well. With good dancers, I felt like I was into their minds (hypnotized them) and their feet doing what I suggested. When I had the pleasure to dance with great women, I felt completely free, like they say, one body four feet.

I didn't think about how to move or what steps to take any more. Like Pedro said, just listen to the music, it tells you how to dance. I let the music and the woman inspire me. From time to time, I was pleasantly surprised by myself from the move or steps I did with music, sometimes things that I had never done before...

These days, I dance much less, two or three tandas a night, once or twice a week. If I don't find an inspiring partner in the milonga, I just sit and listen to the music. When I do dance, I rarely feel unsatisfied afterward.


"I am more interested in what moves people, than how they move." Pina Bausch

(posted by my first teacher when Ms.Bausch passed away not long ago)

Do it a million times...

I went to Cesar's milonga workshop yesterday. First time I took a workshop in two years. The workshop itself wasn't quite interesting, partly because of the overall level of the participants. Yet I learned something from this amazing teacher.


Cesar was a very good teacher. He stressed on fundamentals and the very core of tango. It wasn't about teaching the steps, even in the workshop environment. It was about dancing with feeling to the music, about walking with cadence.

One thing he said had particularly struck a cord. He stopped the class after watching for while and seeing most of the people were just rushing the steps. He told a story of how his father taught him dancing tango.

Cesar's father told him to just walk to the music. After a while, Cesar got bored. But his father insisted that he kept on walking. It was not till the 50,000 times that Cesar walked that he started to find cadence in walking, that he found something interesting in this seemingly boring walking. Repeat a million times, until you are bored...and you start looking for something interesting in the simplest thing... then you find tango.

Breathing exercise

I discovered a practice myself this morning while driving to work. Listening to Pugliese on the road, I suddenly found that I was breathing along with the music. I thought that this is a good exercise. Like in Yoga practice, I was always told to just enjoy the breath, pay attention to the breath and let it take me to the presence. I think it also works in dance.

Try that: find any tango music and try to breathe along the music. It is a good exercise. It helped me to be more center and relax in the dance, more submerging in the music and the embrace.

There is no style.

Tango style, is another topic that I found pointless on my occasion visit to tango-l.com. Tango salon, milonguero, stage... nuevo, traditional... there is really endless discussion around it on all forums. Everyone involved in the discussion all seems to have a point...

But what is the point?

As in this clip , they said with a sense of slight derision: if you start analyzing it too much, you get lost... You start looking at it as a dance not like a feeling that can be danced.

In my book, there is no style. I do, however, categorize tango into two: good and bad. Good tango: a feeling is danced. Bad tango: there is no feeling.

It can't be that simple, can it?

It is in between the steps.

Silvina told my tanguera friend during our private lesson. My friend has been dancing for less than a year. Even though she has been a modern dancer for many years, she tends to rush the steps in tango.

Quality over quantity. It also rings truth in the dance. Dance slower, stretch the time before you land your foot.

Bad dancers use excessive upper body movement to express the music and feeling. Mediocre ones use steps. Good dancers take time to dance one step. Because between the steps there is infinite moment that one can express so much...

When I dance with good followers,

I dance to their level.

When I dance with the best dancers, I dance like myself.

Tango is simple.

Tango is no high art. Tango is no myth. Tango is no higher calling to enlighten human being.

Tango is between two persons who are seeking pleasure in each other's company. Simple.

Suffering in Tango

'... look to suffer too much in the dance. Putting too much thought into technicalities, how to move, how to step, how to do this figure exactly, how to do exactly what this teacher said, what that teacher said, trying so hard to copy exactly how every teacher moved.'"

Excerpt from Crossroad

I have been reading some blogs and realized quite a few people out there are talking about the technical aspects of tango down to the specific bones. I tried to follow the detail descriptions. Two paragraphs later I was overwhelmed by the amount of anatomy in the writing: how one's pelvis should be placed in this movement, the degree of hip movement for that movement. For a moment, I thought I was reading a medical journal rather than a tango post.

I try to image how one dances while being conscious about one's shoulder, pelvis and feet. I can't do that, thinking about my body and dancing to the music at the same time. I used to HATE teachers counting step. I still can't associate 1234568 to the beat of the music. Maybe it is just ME who has never taken a class on Music. (Mind you, I am often told that I have great musicality.:)) And who invented this way to teach tango?

At my pre-intermediate classes, the Argentine teacher taught embrace as imagining yourself holding a bady, the American one a round cylinder. For some reason, when my American said that, I had the image of a steel pool in my arm, and i had shivers.

At a workshop on sacada that I attended a year ago, this young American taught about forming the triangle and stepping in 45 degree. At the moment, I thought I was back to college studying Mechanics 101 again.

"Soy, Voy" Javier taught me how to do a sacada: with intention and just go. He showed me, I followed; Andrea's leg was flying. No 45 degree, no triangle, no thinking, just go.

"When they (the Argentine) embrace, man or woman regardless, they don't tear their hair out trying to obsess in technicalities, posture, figures or the teachings of tango teachers."

"Instead they indulge in the shared embrace, listen to the music, to the singing, let the body move naturally and have fun; be happy together! They just want to enjoy the music, enjoy the partner and dance!"

"Why agonize over a perfect side step, or a perfectly led giro? As long as you don't throw each other off balance, and two of you get from point A to point B together, let whatever happen in between happen!" Javier dismissed with a wave of his hand.

Remember, tango for most of us is a social dance. It is not a rocket science, nor a fine art. Teachers, please teach tango as what it is. And dancers, let your body go, enjoy the music and the embrace of your partner. Enjoy tango.

Slowing Down.

I had a milongaless weekend. And I only went out one night in the week. The weather hasn't been nice enough: snow, freezing cold, rain, and strong wind. The thought of going out in the weather and having a bad or even a so-so night deterred me further. I still remembered driving on the icy side streets of Manhattan to attend milongas last year. Now the desire of dancing with all those "hot" women is waning. Tango, for me, is no longer to dance till my feet hurt.

My enthusiasm is still here and growing strong. Besides working on the technique in my living room, I am undertaking the work of putting lyrics to my 4000 song Itune library and building my own tanda list. It is to help me with my musicality, which has always been raved by most of the followers. Now only if I understood the lyrics, had I have more control over how to express music. At the mean time, I am expanding my Spanish vocabulary. Maybe by November, my third trip to BsAs, I can finally converse in Spanish.

Two of the bloggers have taken down their blogs. I think that I can relate to it. I wiped out my posts from March to October 2007 without backup. At that time, I felt that I needed to move on and there was no need to look back. Two weeks later, I found myself posting again, only that it was changed to a journal to my first trip to BsAs. Amidst my post BsAs blue, I wanted to close up shop again. A few days later, I couldn't resist but voice my opinion again... I do hope one of these days they will find the desire to write again and share their voices.

Part of the reason I am so into tango is because it is a life long experience, like martial arts. There is always another level you can reach to. In the end, it is not so much about the physical aspect of the game but the mental one. One doesn't stop learning if one chooses not to.

It is rewarding to have a blissful tanda once a while. And it makes the whole experience more cherishable.

Close Embrace

A lot of people say and teach close embrace as two persons hugging each other, like friends, lovers and family. That is probably the biggest misconception. Granted, there are many different ways to embrace in tango, and the embrace is changing and readjusting throughout the dance. If you watch a lot of youtube clips and pay attention to the best (or ex best) dancers' embraces, you will find similar characteristics.

This is the embrace that is taught by Javier and Andrea. Man, the leader, opens his chest, feels it expand grande but not to stick out his sternum; left palm faces his left ears, relaxes his shoulders and chest; tucks his navel in, tightens his abs and rib cage (requires works on your core); and breathe in your chest. Then he invites the woman to come to his embrace, by holding her right hand up and over without any tension of pulling, embrace her at the level of the bottom of her breasts line, as if he places her breast over his chest and lift/support them by natural expanding his chest.

The woman, the follower, comes to the man, places her chest over his, as if she hangs herself on his chest with hers; and her left arm places naturally over the man's shoulder or upper arm, sometimes her left palm presses in and upward to allow better connection with the man without weighing on him.

In this embrace, the contact and connection is on the chest and no other parts of the body. I find more freedom for both to move. And the woman gets much better sensation which I will talk about in "Don't wake her up". This is just the technical aspect of the embrace. It is just half of embrace.

A perfect embrace starts with the cabeceo, through the eyes, which also called windows of the hearts, of two persons. The man takes her right hand and invites her to the embrace. At this moment, he should show his confidence that he is the best of the floor and he could take care of her in the crowded pista and give her two wonderful minutes. The confidence is so strong that the others on the floor feel it too, so they will respect his space when he dances around.

It is when the woman feels the confidence in the man, she takes the last step towards him and allows him to embrace her. Then she completely surrenders into the embrace and waits for him to show her two blissful minutes.

"I can teach you how to dance, but I can't teach you embrace." Maestro Carlos told me once."...I am glad that you've found your own."

Shy, intimidated of dancing with one of the best, and nervous of making mistake or causing injury to her. Not until I put away those emotions and started envisioning myself as the best, did Andrea Misse tell Javier and me that the embrace was "Perfecto".

" keep this embrace. Don't lose it." Javier nodded at me.

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Afterword:

A man does not automatically embrace the woman. Instead, he takes her hand; invites her and waits for her acceptance. The woman takes the last step to allow the man to embrace her.

There is no step...

Steps were/are/ will be created by dancers, mostly the leaders. If you fixate on the steps, spend much of your mind of memorizing the steps, and try to recreate these steps in your dance, then you are forever trapped in the tango labyrinth. At a certain stage of your tango journey, you would realize that you are the creator of the steps, not the slave of them.

"How to do a nice(perfect) giro?" I asked Javier after my imitation of one of his moves. "What's a giro?" He answered. Instead, he had me standing relaxed, feet together, in practice hold.

"Close your eyes" Andrea translated "now try to remember this movement."

Javier slowly drew a counter clockwise circle with my upper body. "This is the sensation. Remember that." Then he and Andrea danced to show me the body movement and energy, but not the steps...

I used to be fascinated by Javier's unique footworks (steps). I had spent hours loading his Youtube clips in Flash and watched them frame by frame, tried to break down his steps. I wanted to dance like him.

After the private lessons with him, I realized that I didn't want to dance just like him any more. I want to dance like myself. Of course, I will carry certain distinctive/signature Javier features, ones which he probably learned from his maestros: the embrace, the energy... It was what he taught me, however, freed my mind, my fixation of those fantastic steps of his.

The repertoire of tango is muy grande. But it is also very simple: natural: listen to your body, your body will tell you how to dance...

Your mind tells your body how to move, your body then tells your feet...

Think of whereabout of the fellower's foot (always on one foot), not your feet during the dance.

---Javier Rodriguez

Understand how to dance elegantly, how to dance sensually, the essence of tango, the connection between the two.

Think of the feet as paint brush, the floor as a canvas. You dance as painting on the floor with brushes.

---Maestro Carlos De Chey

Understand these, I begin to dance with more freedom.

"The dance, it's not just making the woman follow

your lead, follow your musicality, execute your figures. But most importantly listening to the woman, in the embrace, in her figures, in her embellishments, what she wants." excerpts from Lonewalk's , who by the way is a damn good dancer himself (cream of the crops by American standard), latest post about Javier Rodriguez talked about musicality.

A very interesting post, the way Javier talked about musicality in a deeper level. I will let you read about it from Issac's blog yourself.

Tango, at a higher level, is very intriguing, to say the least.

"Its not all about trying to do what you want anymore. Its letting her body and her emotions lead you..."

Leader follows... I am revisiting the idea.