Embrace and Feeling

Tangospeak has an interesting post about feeling in tango. Incidently, maestro told us something last night about a student whom came to him for a private lesson. A well to do married woman, who was going to have her first tango lesson. When maestro tried to embrace her, she froze as being attacked: "Oh,NO! I can't do that, I am married!" We couldn't stop but laugh.

Here is a excerpt from Javier's workshop in Hong Kong. Just so you know, in Chinese culture, not until recent twenty years, any physical contact between man and woman who are not spouses was deemed inappropriate.

" .. To feel in tango, there's nothing about sex, or whatever beyond the dance, tango is a very pure form of love, to care about one person, just in one dance, and after that, it's your own life, there's nothing to be afraid of ... "

"... when i dance, or perform, i try to feel, because i know if i don't feel anything, my partner won't be able to feel anything and the audience just won't feel anything at all ..."

When I dance with some women, even in close embrace, I feel the distance and reluctance of being close and slight resistance into the embrace. It was like the women were avoiding contacts to their breasts. For me, as a leader, it becomes a distraction in the dance when I have to constantly think about the embrace.

I guess it is probably the main reason so many young people prefer nuevo style. In open embrace, without the physical contact, they don't have to commit or share or open up to a stranger.

Maybe just the people who have experienced of love, loss of love and the ups and downs in life can fully understand tango and the feeling in close embrace.

No a tango post II

From my dear friend in Italy

"Yes things are rough. Here life is super expensive and unemployment is over 10% in Europe. People are not spending money but nervous about paying their mortgages (like in the states). To make it worst the new government has raisen taxes and people are mad.

But we are all healthy and that is important.

Hang in there and keep doing the Tango..I can't think of a better way to go. Good for you. "

----re: Hello from Italy

"...Boy keep dancing......."-re:PS

That's it. I am going to the Afternoon Milonga after work.

Thank you, my DIF for your e-mail .

5 Days and 5 minutes private

I was dancing, the tanda was D'Arienzo's. I was in this huge milonga, very crowdy; yet the energy was flowing and in harmony. Then there was this noise coming from nowhere, loud, squeaking.

"Spur is having problem penetrating, Dallas...."

What the...? I opened my eyes, and my TV was on TNT. Spur Vs Dallas, 3rd quarter. What the time is it? I suddenly realized I was late for my 9:30 private with maestro. I overslept my tango nap.

I ran out of the house and jumped into the car. It was 10:10 then, called Maestro and partner, told them " I am coming..."

Luckily the traffic was light, I did 65 on a 50 limit highway. Twenty minutes after, I was at the studio.

Apparently, partner had a good class with maestro. I had about 5 minutes to dance a song with partner. Off we went.

Four steps.... Stop. Too soft, too many tiny steps. More energy! Dance lower. Go again...

Readjusted the embrace and connected with partner first, and relaxed the knees. Yes, very nice. Very good.

Then maestro taught me the highlight of the class. " Focus on the hips, hers and yours." I am not going to go into detail how and what to do with ones' hips (core is more proper). But what a difference it made when i followed it. The control and quality of the dance was changed dramatically. And my partner definitely felt the lead much better and stronger (not physically though).

That was it. Five minutes with maestro and I got over the biggest hurdle I had for months: how to dance with my core (hips is misguiding). It clicked.

Then we all went to La Nacional. Maxi Copello and Maria Blanco were there, so was Omar Vega. Maestro so proudly pointed us out to Omar Vega while we were on the floor: these are my students, they are the best on the floor (it was a slow night.). Mr Vega agreed.

He told us that later, which brought huge grin on my face and sparks in partner's lovely blue eyes. Hard work paid off...

5 Days...

Uno Medio Corazon del los milongueros...

During my new morning ritual: reading tango blogs between coffee and bagel with a morning tanda playing in the background. I dug up this post from La Tanguera's blog, which is related to another post from TangoScopio:

"... que los milongueros y milongueras tenian cada uno medio corazon, y formaban uno al unirse en un baile, de ahi la hermosura del tango, y tambien la verdadera necesidad ellos ir a bailar para sentirse 'completos'. y si, a veces ese medio corazon suele ser insuficiente para sentir fuera de las milongas. Pero tambien, a veces, ese medio corazon encuentra uno y medio para complementarlo."

It was a good chance to learn a few Spanish words while typing out this paragraph. Learning Spanish and the lyrics are part of the learning experience of tango.

Mi Dolor by Javier Rodriguez and Andrea Misse

8 Days.. and Home is where your heart is...

When I first started tango, I thought:" wow, this is heaven for single guys.". What else can get you so close to a woman and to so many women? I was driven to be a very good dancer so I can dance with the prettiest and the sexiest, and many of them. A good dancer I became, I found different meanings in tango.

Dancing with friends, I've found joy and peace. Dancing with Strangers, I've found passion and thrill. What I long for, however, is to dance with some one whom I care, and find love. (I know! It sounds hopeless romantic, even downright stupid and naive.)

I have tasted passion. Passion was consuming. It was like drinking double shots of strong whiskey; it burned my throat, warmed my stomach and numbed my mind, sometimes blinded me too. But the sensation was short lived. And I had to risk a hangover.

I have experienced thrill. It was exciting and heart pounding. But I couldn't handle thrill on the daily basis.

For a short time, I thought I have found some one whom i like and would like to care for. The dance was different from then on. I had experienced something magical in the dance.

Then the past couple of weeks I had been lost in the " she likes me, she likes me not..." state of mind. When the "she likes me not" struck, I felt I could have moved to the faraway land where tango can be danced anytime of the day. Two nights ago, after a glass of fine aged tequila, I dreamed about being happy in the foreign land, where I find my tango love.

I think it happened to a lot of people. When they are not happy with their lives, they find happiness elsewhere. There is an old Chinese saying: " Tree dies when it is moved, people live however." A new environment is sometimes good for the soul.

But every time the plane descends to this city from the many foreign lands that I've travel to, I look out the windows and feel that I am home again. Here I have my family, my friends and the memories of all these years. My heart is still here. This is my home.

So tonight, it suddenly struck me that I looked at the whole thing the wrong way. I trapped myself unwisely. I should read it as Yuenfen hasn't arrived yet. If it doesn't feel right, then probably it is not meant to.

There, I no longer look at BsAs as an escape but an opportunity to grow as a better tango dancer and better prepared when Yuen finally arrives and the love strikes. I feel liberated from my own dark thoughts and depression. I can sleep quietly now.

8 more days...