So I was at this milonga and witnessed a theatrical scene... to say the least.
One of the local tangueras went to a well known tango "star" and commanded for a dance. After being turned down, according to "first hand" recounting, she threw a fit and berated him with names and something like " you are in my country. You will do what I told you...". Then she slapped him and was countered. She went to ground... and all hell broke loose. She subsequently threw a glass of RED wine to him and a few people sitting with him got some of that... including a teacher I have respect for.
I was dancing a milonga set with a friend of mine on the floor. I passed by the spot, annoyed by the commotion. What I saw was that the woman on the ground, then got up and went after the "star"; the star was refrained by his friends to execute a front kick, no mistakenly a trained martial arts move. I danced away immediately from that spot and only stopped when the commotion grew wilder at another corner.
Well, this post is not about who's right or who's wrong. Nor about discussion of public opinions of this sort of things. So I would delete any comments in that nature. And of course, no names will be revealed publicly, although I suspect the gossip will spread around if it hadn't already.
The post is about dancing with the "stars".
First of all, let me make my position clear: I don't believe in calling or labeling anyone "star" or "deity", let alone "god or goddess.". They are just normal human beings who happen to excel in their profession.
Secondly, it is delusional to think that just because one has danced with and being seen dancing with a "star", that one's tango status has immediately elevated. A "star" dances with regular dancers for many reasons: y0u are a student or a target student, you are the DJ or the organizer, you are an acquaintance or a friend, you are deliciously gorgeous and in a sexy outfit, or in few cases that you are really good dancer...
Thirdly, your "deities" are also human beings. They could get tired, impatient or drunk. Sometimes milonga is the place they relax after a long day of teaching and performing. They surely don't the obligation to dance with anyone whom they don't feel like dancing.
I have been to four festivals this summer and all these festivals were stuffed with who is who in the tango world. Some of the female "stars" were generous to dance with common folks. Yet few of these common folks were really into the dance itself. They rather took the opportunities as a chance to show off their ridiculously shabby skills, pretending to be another "superstar", dragging and flinging the women around. I felt sorry for the "star" whom, sometimes being dragged on the floor, had to endure the torture and couldn't get off the floor quick enough once the music stopped.
I once asked a performer whom happened to be an acquaintance and sometimes would ask me for a dance in local milongas, at a festival milonga. She just performed that night with a well known tango "god". She first told me that she was bit drunk and would like to dance later. I pressured her because a few people (among, one of the godesses in tango world, if you will) were around and my pride got better of my sense. She got up and danced with me. We didn't connect, despite my favorite orchestra was on with my favorite songs. I tried, but she was not there. She could be tired and bit tipsy, or just dance with me because I insisted. Technically, we danced well. But I didn't enjoy it, nor could I imagine she did.
At another festival milonga in a faraway country, I was standing there looking for a partner to dance the Tanturi con Campos tanda. There came a woman standing next to me, coffee in her hand and singing along with song in Spanish. Although I don't often invite woman whom I haven't seen dancing before, I figured if she could sing along, she couldn't be a bad dancer. I caught her eyes and invited her. She was a bit surprised but told me that she could dance with me after she finished the coffee. A guy came by, greeted her and then asked her for a dance. She hesitated for a moment and explained to him that she promised to dance with me. (in Spanish they spoke). The guy apparently insisted so they went to the floor. I found out later that he was the organizer and she was one of the big "stars" who dances with the biggest name in nuevo world. I could have asked her for a dance again in the coming nights, but I didn't. Instead I danced with the regular dancers whom embraced me and gave me a hell of experience that I had never felt before.
I still look to dance with the "stars", not because they are the "stars". It is because some of them are amazing tangueras. I want to dance with them when they truly like to dance with me, that we could mutually enjoy the dance. Just like they enjoy dancing with some of their fellow "stars". (I have also seen them dancing with the fellow "stars" for the sake of just to dance with an acquaitance.)
In the end, for me the ultimate tango experience does not depend on with WHOM I dance. The ultimate tango experience occurs when two open their hearts, embrace each other and share the moments.
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Isn't this good enough reason to stick to cabeceo? One teacher here said there is only one rule in tango: Respect. Looks like some people forgot that one....
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Frankly, if you didn't actually hear the whole conversation, you really shouldn't publish anything about the incident as it is all hearsay. You said that you were dancing a milonga set when things were happening.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth is right about the cabeceo. Also, as far as I am concerned, there are no stars in tango. There might be people that are better dancers than me, but no stars, please!
What I put down was: "according to firt hand recount" and what I witnessed. I haven't heard any other version of the story since the incident. What I also witnessed was the woman went after the "star" again and slapped him on the back.
ReplyDeleteThen again, there are far worse "all heresay" stories on the internet than this.
E,
ReplyDeleteAs I always said, as you know :-), you have to respect others before earn the respect from them.
@Pilgrim,
ReplyDeleteI have heard other versions which I won't repeat. The fact is, just because others are printing hearsay doesn't mean you have to join in on the bandwagon.
I accept what you saw, but you still don't know exactly what was said between the two parties as you didn't hear it. A so called first hand account is almost like chinese whispers. If you didn't hear it from the horse's mouth, you didn't actually hear anything in my book, and therefore is not worth printing.
@Arlene,
ReplyDeleteIn your book, on your blog, you have the liberty to say or not say anything. I have the same liberty here. I hope you are using the same tone to the other person whom is circulating a letter on your side of pond and asking for public lynching.
Again, this post is not about the incident. Maybe from the incident, some of us could learn something.
@Pilgrim
ReplyDeleteI don't actually know what is being said at my side of the pond. I do know what is being said on your side (my former side)on the Tango UK group. Fortunately, I can respond to that person, personally. I would say the same thing. Having a blog doesn't allow one to say whatever they like without consequenses. And since I would like to be taken seriously as a writer and retain some integrity, I wouldn't repeat things if I hadn't witnessed them first hand or without actual proof. That's it from me.
@Arlene,
ReplyDeleteYou could certainly have your own standard on what you should say on your blog or your published material to be taken seriously. Again, that's you and your own standard and integrity as a "writer". And you could apply any censorship on your own blog, choose to publish or suppress any comment according to your own standard.
And it is all YOUR business, not mine. Nor am I sitting in a classroom listening to the lecture of "Journalism".
I wrote about my personal experience about dancing with "star". The story was part of my experience. Again: this post is not about who's right or who's wrong or public opinions of the incident. It is about dancing with the "stars".
Things are not always the way we see them. Truth is often distorted even on the first hand basis... propaganda and personal interest etc.
The question is Does one watch TV news intelligently or just shut it off completely? :-P
@ Pilgrim,
ReplyDeleteYes, I do censor rude and insulting comments as they usually are personal rather than sticking with the topic.
I know you wrote about your own experience and what you saw, but you also wrote about what you heard, and not all of that was first hand, which is where I disagree with you. It isn't a personal attack. I thought I explained myself clearly. You of course will do what you want to do regardless. I wasn't telling you what to do, just that I didn't think you should and why. We obviously have different standards and that is something I can agree on.
I don't understand how TRUTH is distorted on a first hand basis unless someone would have a warped sense of the truth. The truth is the truth and if it is distorted, then it becomes untrue.
Is there intelligent news to watch these days???
@Arlene,
ReplyDeleteI don't believe everything that is said on the News, even though it might be first hand account. I don't switch it off either if it happens to be on.
One draws one's own conclusion, forms opinion based on the information one gets, intelligently. :-)