Tango is internal.

I used to be puzzled yet at the same time fascinated by some of my close tanguera friends' tango experiences. How certain men would make them feel...using their own words: "opening up like a flower", "that he knows every inch of my body"... or simply "orgasmic". I felt jealous when I listened to these tales.

Just about one year after I started dancing in the milongas, I had already received compliments. Women told me sincerely how beautiful my various partners and I looked together. Some men, who had danced for a longer time, pat me on the shoulder and said that they were going to steal a few moves from me. I knew that I could make women look beautiful dancing with me and make most of them dreaming in my embrace. Everyone told me I was a good dancer, but I wanted to be the best.

When I was not dancing in the milonga, I liked to just sit and observe. I paid attention to how people move and what expressions they wore on their face. And I observed a couple of said men dancing. At first, I felt unjustified.

There was this man, who a friend of mine said that she would go to a milonga just to hope to have a tanda with him. I looked at him barely dancing and questioned " his movement doesn't have music. "

"Oh... he is so musical."

I don't understand women... I have twice better posture and movement than this guy. My walk is much more elegant. I definitely dance better than this guy. Hmmm!!!

There is this instructor from BsAs. The first time I saw him dancing. I thought to myself " What's the deal?"

He didn't move much. The woman in his embrace wasn't what you would call dancing either, movement was sporadic. Yet the expression of the woman's face was intriguing: eyes closed, small beads of sweat falling through their pink cheeks. A lot of women were thrilled to dance with him. According to some, dancing with him was a tangasmic experience.

I believed the first hand accounts of my friends. But I didn't understand or start to understand till this post.

Shortly after, one summer night, I was at this outdoor milonga. The night was beautiful. The music was alternative, a beautiful guitar piece by Chris Spheeris. I took this tanguera friend's hand and embraced her. She was on her platform sandal, and I my flip flop. The floor was uneven wood plank. We didn't dance the way we used to dance. I didn't even lead ocho. We just embraced and breathed together. Walked slowly, one step then another...

She told me after that she hadn't felt this way for a long time.

Me neither... I finally start to get it:

Tango is internal.

We really don't need to do all these movement to connect with the other. Sacada, volcada, boleo, open embrace, fluid embrace...etc these are all external, like how many different positions does a couple have to do in order to achieve orgasm? Or does one have to do a series of movements in order to reach the deepest and most tranquil state in meditation?

I like what maestro Juan Carlos Copes said:

Lo más difícil del tango es hacerlo fáci
Lo más difícil del tango es caminarlo.
Lo más difícil del tango es sentirlo y demostrar lo que se siente.
Algo muy distinto que bailar para los demás.
El tango se lo baila para uno…
(first read it here)

although it took a few years for me to understand.