Ms. Hedgehog's recent post inspired me to repost this with a few changes:I was at this practica DJing. There went this old guy and a young beginner, dancing right in front of me. The guy was 6' tall and over 200 lbs; and the poor girl was like 5"6 with heels on, no more than 110 lbs. Beauty and the beast at the first sight.
What went on made me frowned: he was throwing her around, taking her off balance and forcing different nuevo/stage moves which clearly beyond the physical capabilities of both. (Why a sixty year old, who has no apparent dance background or the physicality of a fit man, would practice off axis volcada lead or anything that is off axis, is beyond my comprehension, although none of my business.) A few times, I thought the girl was about to twist her ankles or have a broken arm.
Yet the girl went on to dance two tandas with the old man. I was amazed... at her ability of enduring such a torture for over twenty minutes. Maybe it didn't hurt or feel uncomfortable as much as it appeared to me.
A couple of nights after, I was at my regular milonga dancing. All of sudden, there was this commotion that made everyone stop dancing. Some one was on the floor. Men were arguing. Instantly I knew whose fault it was.
This guy has been dancing for a long time, longer than I have. I had seen him dancing. He could dance nicely. Somehow he choosed to open up and do crazy stuffs all the time, crowded floor or not. I was following him one tanda. His movement was big and unpredictable. I had to be on constant alert. At one time, I elbowed him lightly when he almost backstepped into me.
Enough was enough.I was told later that the woman was tripped by this guy's partner. He must lead her doing some crazy stage/nuevo moves, as usual.
That got me thinking: so many women complaining men/bad dancers, yet these men are still getting dances from women. What's wrong with this picture? If you don't enjoy dancing with certain people, while keep dancing with them. Have you learned how to spot a bad dancer on the floor?
Do women get so desperate that they jump at every invitation that goes their way? I don't get it...
I don't invite women whom were seen dancing with bad dancers* frequently. And most of the time, these women get stuck with the same type of dancers. Bad by association. Good dancers look for good dancers to dance with. Besides, if you constantly dance with dancers whom have bad postures and inferior techniques, you develop bad habits unconsciously.
I was going to ask the aforementioned beginner to practice walking, show her how to embrace. But after one tanda and she still stayed with the old guy, I lost my interest and enthusiasm. She needed to learn by herself, how to say no, how to look for good dancers, sometimes the hard way.
I like to help beginner, intermediate or even some advanced dancers to improve or correct certain things in their dance. I don't do it actively unless I am asked. I rarely offer advices voluntarily unless I know the person very well. There are a lot of ego and self esteem among. For those who are eager to learn and to improve, I do like to offer them my hands without reservation.
Beginner and intermediate dancers have to make choice between not dancing and dancing with bad dancers. Remember: bad dancers are around because they are dancing. Some one is dancing with them. If you are that someone, then you shouldn't be complaining...
(* Bad dancers= those who have been dancers for years yet have no idea of how to navigate the floor, how to dance small and dance for each other and how to follow the line of dance...)