Trenzas

The first time i heard this song was at my private class with Javier y Andrea. I thought it was by Carlos Di Sarli. Because we were dancing to Di Sarli the whole class. Andrea likes this song very much. She picked it a few times throughout the classes.



Music: Armando Pontier
Lyric: Homero Expósito
Orchestra: Miguel Calo
Singer: Raul Iriarte.

Trenzas,
seda dulce de tus trenzas,
luna en sombra de tu piel
y de tu ausencia.
Trenzas que me ataron en el yugo de tu amor,
yugo casi de blando de tu risa de tu voz...
Fina
caridad de mi rutina,
me encontré tu corazón
en una esquina...
Trenzas de color de mate amargo
que endulzaron mi letargo gris.

¿Adónde fue tu amor de flor silvestre?
¿Adónde, adónde fue después de amarte?
Tal vez mi corazón tenía que perderte
y así mi soledad se agranda por buscarte.
¡Y estoy llorando así
cansado de llorar,
trenzado a tu vivir
con trenzas de ansiedad... sin ti!
¡Por qué tendré que amar
y al fin partir!

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Royce's Tango Thoughts

Fellow Bloggers, Tango Friends

It is a small world, they say. It gets much smaller when you are a tanguero(a) who blogs.

When I started frequenting the milongas in New York last March, I thought it would be nice to write about my experience in the milongas, what I thought of tango at the time. Then I discovered other tango blogs and for a while my routine was: coming back from the milongas, have a beer,spend an hour or two writing my blog and then read some more.

Slowly I started making comments on others' posts and receiving comments. I participated in some small blog wars and fought one or two myself; made quite a few friends or maybe one or two foes.

Other than the few bloggers who have the courage to post their photos on the wild wild web, I often try to imagine what that person on the other side of the cable looks like, what is her/his personality, how well she/he dances... Between the words, sometimes I feel they are all so close, even though some of them live thousand miles away. When I sit in front of my 20in LCD screen and read about their posts, I feel like they are sitting on the other side of the screen. I am almost there living through their experience. I share their joy, frustration, and blissful moments.

By reading Issac's blog, I decided to finally take my first trip to Buenos Aires and learned from Javier and Andrea. I was glad that Cherie's blog had provided me information about the milongas in BA. And her service had helped me to enjoy my first trip tremendously.

I still remembered the first time I met with Cherie and Ruben. We had such a great time at Nino Bien that it became a memorable night in my first trip. I met my fellow New Yorker tangueras whom I had never danced with. How strange, we didn't have our first dance till we met in Buenos Aires, even though we might have sat next to each other in New York.

Meeting Sallycat at Cafeteria la Ideal was like meeting a friend who I haven't seen for a long time. Although our only encounter before was through comments on each other's blog, I felt very comfortable at her presence. I have much admiration for this courage woman. In a lazy Thursday afternoon, the empty Ideal felt special when I danced a tanda with her before I headed out for my private class.

Even though a smart guy like me, had figured out who were the beautiful chicas of tangoaddiction, I respected their wishes of remaining anonymous while we were in BA. But a smooth walk of Di Sarli at Porteno y Bailarin with Eva and a tanda of Pugliese at La Ideal with Malena had eventually broken the ice. We share a tanda or two whenever we meet in New York's milonga.

I feel fortunate to have met Tina during my second trip to BA. She is a beautiful dancer and lovely person with a warm heart. I wouldn't have the same wonderful experience this time if it were for her. Sharing a practica with Padro whom Tina has introduced me to, following her on an educational walk through the tango spots in Buenos Aires after the lunch at an Old Cafe, going out to Sunderland with friends twice, hanging out at La Viruta, talking with her about tango, the ghost... Tina, my dear friend, you had made my time in BsAs a rocking one.

And CDT: Le Chemin Du Tango, my multilingual fellow student of Javier, I will always remember our first dance at Nino Bien, a tanda of D'Arienzo, and our last one at Sunderland, a tanda of Pugliese, both are my favourites. As you said after our goodbye hug at La Viruta: I am sure I will meet you here again in Buenos Aires.

And what are the odds that three Chinese guys from three different countries: Singapore, Taiwan, and USA met in Buesno Aires studying with the same great teachers at the same time?
Issac, Gus, and yours truly. Although I am the oldest of three, you two are my inspiration.
I am wondering where we will be in tango one year from now.

I must say that all the fellow bloggers are good dancers. It makes sense. NO? In order to do well in something, you must first devote yourself into it. If we blog about tango, we must care enough about tango to be a good dancer.

TB and Elizabeth, the remaining two bloggers friends who I haven't met in person, you are just as close as the others to me. I am sure we will meet eventually one day, most likely in Buenos Aires. After all it is a small world.

Miss Tango, I will probably become a BA temporary resident soon. So I will be seeing you and the lovely Isa.

Johanna, our tango taoist, La Tanguera I look forward to having a tanda with you one day.

Gus said the good social dancers are not normal. I would say that we are special. For us, the tango bloggers, we have extra bonds. We share the same passion with the same dedication. We write about our feeling.

At this early AM Wednesday morning, with a glass of Norton Malbec 2004 in my hand, I salute you, all my fellow bloggers and real life tango friends. wishing you a tango journey as wonderful as mine.

I've never known a guy can be so good...

being a follower...So entertaining. It was fun to watch him do it on the floor of Porteno y Bailarin (he is one of the organizer, so he doesn't get kicked out). And a little pleasantly surprised that he was doing it on the floor at Canning. Ladies and Gentlemen, Jose Garofalo.

Bailar como un hombre

Would you like the woman in your embrace dancing like a man, marching like a soldier, say during the song of Poema? Probably not, right? A woman should look and feel like a woman: sexy, beautiful and feminine. A masculine follower doesn't get much cabaceos, at least at the milongas where I have been going to.

A woman tangos like a woman, a man tangos like a man. It is natural, that yin and yang thing. When two becomes one, it is the most beautiful to see and feel. When I was in Buenos Aires, from the 72 year old Padro who has been dancing over fifty years to Javier who is younger than I am, every man that I met who dances tango, has this universal message: stand like a man and walk like a hombre.

When I left La Nacional last night, I took a glimpse of these men, who are supposed to be the creme of creme in the NY tango scene, dancing, which inspired this post. I felt ill watching these men dancing like they haven't eaten for a week. I wanted to stop them and said to them: "Guys, please, dance like a man."

First night out in NY

My first night out since back to NY. Met Maetro on the street and talked with him about his gf's loss the night we went out. La Nacional was half empty by the time we went in. Plenty of space to dance considered where I just came back from. I could almost image the scene at Nino Bien. With all the people from all around the world participating CITA, Nino Bien must be very tight and crowded. Even so, I would rather be at Nino Bien than at La Nicional.

I was glad to see my acquaintance dancing on the floor. Also I saw the chica from NY also sitting by a table. Went over and said hello. Gave her a warm hug three times. And then did the Viruta way (or NY way) of asking for a dance: Bailar? Grabbed her hand and pretended to take her to the floor. She laughed. Off we went for two tandas.

When she left for NY we danced three tandas at Porteno y Bailarin. They were good tandas, except the moment Tete stopped us and made comment to her on my highly held left hand. Maybe I will ask Tete what the hell you were talking about when he is here in May. Think he remembers?

In two tandas that we danced, she stepped on my feet twice, misread my lead three times and apologized four times. She told me that she didn't enjoy all the milongas that she had gone to here. In Buenos Aires, I saw her getting cabaceos from some of the good old milongueros and dancing with them. Here I saw her being dragged around by some old guys whom have danced just few years. I hope they are not going to ruin the interest of this woman to tango.

I danced with my acquaintance for God knows how many tandas. In the beginning I felt her embrace was not as comfy as last time that I danced with her, just about one month ago. Maybe dancing in NY does change one's many good tango elements. I had the walk down from my first private session with Javier and Andrea. Three month later, I had to rework on the walk again. How can I maintain what I've had and build on it? I would think it over before i throw myself back to the milonga scene in New York again. The last thing I want is to take two steps forward and one step back.

We slowly got more comfortable with each other. During one song at our fourth or fifth tanda, maestro came to us on his way to the bathroom. We were dancing and he said to us from behind: "you guys look great." What? I hated to be interrupted. " You guys look great together." He repeated it two more times. I had to stop the dance. He's my maestro in NY and a respected teacher. He is always proud of me being his student. His compliment meant a good deal. But in the middle of the song while I was deep in the music with my partner???????

I made a face to his back as he walked to the bathroom. What's up with these milongueros/Argentines, first Tete and now him?

We danced about six tandas. Last one was D'Arienzo and clearly I didn't dance as well as slow and smooth ones. I asked her if she felt anything wrong. She hesitated for a moment then told me that I was tense and that transfered to her. Brilliant! I needed some one to tell me that. I relaxed the next song and we finished it better than we started.

I went to have a beer and then watched the floor.Then that inspired my next post. So get ready for some TP's rant. When I saw a bunch of Tango Nuevo teachers and dancers coming in, I knew it was my time to go.

I had a good first night. Yet it reconfirmed my will of spending more time in Buesno Aires. Having danced just two years, I've already found the level of tango in NY low. It is the environment and the level of teachers. The overall quality of embrace, posture and walk are in the baby stage. The school ones go to doesn't have them in the curriculum. Or the teachers ones go to don't even know the ins of these basics.

The popular teachers are the Americans who have been dancing just a few years. Two things the Americans do well are advertising and marketing. The Argentine teachers suck at these two things. They are like the Shaolin monks hid away in the mountains. One who wants to learn the real Kung Fu has to seek them out.

I am fortunate that I've found my master shaolin monks here in NY and over there in Buenos Aires. I am at where I am now partly because of them.

Cost of living in BsAs from a Turista's point of view

How expensive or inexpensive traveling to Buesnos Aires is? At 3.14 peso to 1 dollar, here my break down of daily expense:

Breakfast at 12:00pm: 4 media luna and two pastries from a pastry shop at las Heras and coffee at my apartment

cost: 4 peso

Lunch: A steak (10 peso), Asado (8 peso), half roasted chicken (16 peso), Salad (6 peso), beer (4 peso),Spaghetti with sauce (15 peso)

average cost: 20 peso

Modest Dinner: in a restaurant: steak, salad, water,

average cost: 30 peso

A night out to the milonga:

entrance: 12 peso
water: 6 peso
coffee: 6 peso
empanada: 2.50 peso/each
Taxi back home: 12 peso

Average cost of a night out: 40-50 peso

I had been taking the collectivo (bus) most of the time except coming back to the apartment 4-5AM after milonga. So I had saved quite a bit transportation cost. Still my average expense a day is around 100 peso.

If I went out to a fancy restaurant or ordered a bottle of wine or champagne at the milonga. The cost went up accordingly. Mind you, as I went out every night, I kept my expense modest. Even a few times I took a few friends out for dinner, we went to local restaurants that serve portenos.

My rent for my studio apartment at Recoleta costed: $560 a month (1750 peso).

Two pairs of Neotango shoes : 380 peso at 190 each (after 10% cash discount)

Eight sessions of msssage: 480 peso at 60 each

Credit recharge on my BsAs cell phone: 30 peso

38 Tango CDs at Zival: 800 peso

5 bottle of delicious Malbec at Disco: 130 peso

Transportation from and to the Airport: 160 peso

My private classes and couple of dinners with friends: 4200 peso

Round trip ticket: 2450 peso ($780 dollar)

for 24 days: 12,650 pesos ($4000)

Average good salary in BA: 2000 peso?

I don't know about you. It doesn't sound like an inexpensive heaven. A pair of Neotango has gone up 20 peso since December of last year, in merely 3 months. The entrance fee in some milongas has gone up too. We went to Puerto Madero one night. The club we tried to go charged 50 pesos for entrance. We looked at each other, Nah, too steep.

But comparing with other big cities in the world, it is still a relatively inexpensive place to visit for short term. I havn't gone to Europe for two years simply because it becomes very expensive to travel in the Euro zone. Asia is too far for me. :) (how ironic consider where i came from) Hong Kong is a very expensive place to visit. A night at a decent hotel costs around $100. Although I have a nice big apartment to stay in China, there is no tango in that city. I won't be staying at any place without a milonga for more than a week. I can't.

So for my next visit to Buenos Aires, I am planning to stay for a few months. It has tango, beautiful chicas, interesting night life, characteristic barrios and generally good people. Hopefully, by the time I go, it is still affordable for me.

Post BsAs Blue

Got home yesterday morning. First impression: it is cold here. Second impression: to put it less offensively to my fellow New Yorkers, where did all the beautiful chicas go?

Got back to my apartment and found out my Lucky bamboo survived three weeks without being watered. I forgot to leave it under my dripping bathroom faucet. Unpack half of my suite case, and went to bed for a nap. Woke up a few hours later and felt starving. Thanks to American Airline, all the weight that I had gained during my last couple of days of fine cuisine tasting in BA had lost in the ten hours flight back: total less than 12 oz food served. Cheap bastards! They didn't even serve enough water.

Returned the pastdue book to the library, paid my overdue mortgage, and went to get some greasy Chinese lunch and resupplied my frig with fruits, veggies and fishes. Went to blockbuster to return a DVD and rent a new one.

Another nap after the lunch.Cooked dinner around 11:00pm and finished my dinner well past midnight. Eyes wide opened at four o'clock in the morning and wondering what Canning was like at that hours. Finally felt into sleep at day break, and dreamed about the delicious media luna and cafe con leche.

Woke up around 11:00am this morning. Texted my colleague and told him I wouldn't be in the office till tomorrow. I am sick.

I have post BsAs blue, though not as severe as last time. Nonetheless I have it. I have been feeling nostalgic. What's worse, both of my Mate wood cup cracked after cure. Now I have half kilo of Mate but no gourd to drink it from. It crossed my mind that I would jump on the next flight back to BsAs and confront the vendor who sold me two cracked mate cup, or at least who sold me two cups without proper instruction of cure.

Checked out what had gone on in NY's tango scene through facebook photos. I almost cried when I saw the postures of some women. That ended my thought of going out tonight, tomorrow night and the night after tomorrow...

Spent the whole afternoon on importing my new CD collection. Now I have 266 tango albums, 4973 songs and 21.0GB of music that will last ten and half day of non stop playing. Read some blogs and later listened to Adriana Varela, which added more nostalgia.

My life without tango is indeed quite pathetic. It will take me some time to get back to the normal life here. First thing first, I have to get back to work...

My next time in BA will be much longer, months longer... at least that's what I have to plan for.

Day 24. Packing

My suitcase is one quarter empty, despite all the shoes, cds and the wine that I bought. What have I left in Buesno Aires?

Day 23. Happy Ending...

Every story has its ending. All in all, it was a happy one on this Saturday night. The last day of my trip started with a late morning breakfast. I actually forgot my massage appointment. Oh well, I guessed I didn't need it at the last day of my stay. I would be more relaxed back home.

Went to Consagrados for a good bye dance with some friends. Every portena I know told me to come back soon. I danced with Flo a wonderful tanda of Pugliese; Paula, the beautiful chica from la plata, a nice tanda of Tanturi; S, who is lighter than a feather.

Javier and Andrea are performing tonight at Sunderland. I reserved a table for ten. We went earlier to have dinner. I saw a few friends there. I danced with all my friends. It was a great way to say goodbye. Tango with them.

Javier and Andrea's performance was incredible. See my youtube channel for all of the performances.

(Andrea's favourite song. I danced with her a few time of the same music. :) )

They are wonderful people, fantastic teachers and great tango artists. Not just dancers, ARTISTS. If you have the chance to take private with them, just do it. Accept them, understand them, follow them. They will transform the way that you look at tango and dance it.

For any leader who has just danced two year, I can say that few can outdone what I have accomplished in two years. A lot of the credits go to my maestro Carlos De Chey in New York and Javier and Andrea in Buenos Aires. Carlos has shown me how tango is danced in Buenos Aires. He is heavily influenced by Nito y Elba, classy and elegant. Javier has transformed the way that I dance, opened my mind and inspired me in many ways.

The party continued at La Viruta, where young and cool kids hang out. I don't know what this place has. I felt more and more that I like it here. Maybe it is the dim light, maybe it is the hot babes ( loads of them), or maybe it is the chacarera at four o'clock and the darness at 6:00am (make out time, that is what I called it.) Whatever it is, it got the best of me. I felt that I was free on this dance floor. I had natural high dancing with some women. No judgements, no apologies, just hot and sexy tango. If Javier saw me dancing like that, he would have given me a thumps up. (not that I hadn't gotten one.)

We had the freshest media luna at 4:30am. Coffee and cortado kept me going till the very end. What a scene when all those gorgeous women who wear sexy outfit passed by me! My friend sighed:" Damn, look at all these gorgeous women!" It is good to be single!

That was it. I spent all my pesos, had a wonderful time, learned a lot and still don't know a lot. But one thing that I know for sure..

I love tango.

El Fin.

Day 22. La Viruta.

I had accidentally deleted my original post. So here it is again: I will try to be as original as I could remember.



Split with the guys who were looking for actions at bars somewhere downtown. Although the girls were hot and smoking (actually smoking), smoky bar and loud non-tango music were really not my cup of tea. So I caught a cab and headed to La Viruta.

On the floor were pretty much all not so good dancers, wearing jeans, regular shoes. It was pretty much everything goes. Nobody was taking oneself too seriously thereIt, which I liked. It was crowded. A lot of guys were standing by the bar looking for baits (babes). :) Seventy percent of the women were young and beautiful there.

Saw my friend and her daughter sitting at a nice table by the floor and sat at their table. Fabian Paralta was sitting next to our table with a young and very pretty girl. What does a guy with his look gotta hang out with babes like that? :) She didn't even know how to dance. I saw Fabian dancing with her on the floor like holding the hands of a baby learning to walk.

There was live music at 1:30am. The music wasn't for dancing, at least to me. But there were a lot of people on the floor. Quite a few were doing their first steps. It reminded me my beginner year dancing to live music. At times, I had to look away from the floor. It got ugly. Yike!

I danced a bit with my friend and her daughter when the traditional music began. It was actually very good arrangement. The DJ is fantastic at La Viruta, playing very good traditional or nuevo and even salsa music. Always enjoyed the music the few times that I was there.

They had been sitting since 11:30 and rejected a few requests for dance. "This is a meat market." My friend's daughter said to me. She remembered it as a respectful milonga where the nuevo guys, such as chico, fabian salas, hang out; eight years ago that was. They left soon as we danced.

I was enjoying it. If it weren't because I was coughing out of control, I would have stayed till 6am. After 4:00am, when the admission is free, a lot of good dancers started coming. I met a student of Javier and Andrea on my way out, when chacarera was playing.

I stopped by the bar when I saw the fresh media lunas were brought out in baskets. A cafe con leche and three fresh and yummy media luna were too good to pass over. I left happy with a full stomach.

One more day left in the tango land...

Day 22. Private 8. Finale

Last class was all about fixing the little things, such as changing weight, keeping the body as one block, getting rid of the unnecessary body movement, keeping the footwork clean.

We spent some time to get the walk down. Andrea showed me how to lift the free leg before walking. Javier showed me how to use the foot to land. Normal. He said, just like walking on the street. I have to keep reminding myself when walking back, body first, and push off from the standing foot.

There are still a lot of work for me to do. Mostly I need to go back to NY and continue learning. Javier suggested to me that I should film myself and practice as follower. I will understand a lot of things and I am ready to be a follwer, as Javier said.

I started to understand a lot of what they taught me during these two weeks. I need time to revisit all these lessons and process the information that I got. I need to put them in the practice and see where I go from there. Quite a few people down here have told me:" the way you dance to the music, one day you will have your own steps."

One day I hope...

Day 21. Private 7. Happy feeling

I felt tired, not so much into tango the whole day. Took a nap before going to the private. My breakfast was at 2:40pm with steak, mashed potato and a glass of cold beer with my DJ friend. Lunch at 6:30pm, coffee and media luna. No wonder I was having this big headache.

Got to the class, and saw a student of them whom I met the first night at Canning. We chatted a little. And I chatted with Andrea. Andrea looked stunning wearing a nice skirt. My tango energy was at its all time low.

Well, I got to dance with Javier first. A song by D'Arienzo and Hector Maure, it was fine except my usual problem: lack of energy and small steps. I thought dancing in the crowded milongas in BA had definitely changed certain ways of my dance.

We spent most of the working on my walks. I knew I got the walk back in November. I was a little frustrated that we had to work on it again. Javier patiently showed me the way to walk. Well, simple! Walk like normal. He led me to walk back and forth in practice embrace. Then I walked Andrea in hugged embrace with arms wrapped around each other. We kept walking until she felt fine and I looked fine by Javier.

Then we talked about feeling in tango. Javier wanted me to feel happy dancing, not feel burdened. I danced with Andrea la Yumba by Pugliese. There were hiccup here and there. But I was feeling light during the dance and happy after. " You looked happier." Javier told me. " Remember that feeling."

My cell phone rang. They both smiled. My ring tone is Humilicion by D'Arienzo. Andrea liked it and wanted me to send her the song via Bluetooth. I hadn't done it before. So she helped. But we couldn't transfer the file. Tried to transfer to Javier's phone, which is the same model as Andrea's, it worked. Andrea's phone wasn't compatible with mine. Ha!

One more class with them...

Day 20. Private 6 Fatigue takes toll.

I was very tired, coughing during the night and in the morning. I guess that I am reaching to the end of my milonga stretch. By the time I reached Javier's place I felt lack of energy.

Andrea brought me upstairs. They went to Santa Fe yesterday for a show and class, eight hours bus ride. She looked a bit tired too.

Javier was dancing with CDT a milonga. To see him leading CDT dancing the milonga in socks was very entertaining. He saw me and joked: " It is you again. Every day I see you. Every where I look I see you. " I answered:" I am leaving soon. Don't worry."

As usual the previous class ended late. While Andrea took CDT down, I started dancing with Javier to Bien Pluenta by D'Arienzo. It was good except that my steps were too little while doing the giros. Not so manly, very intimidating. I told him that it was because in the milongas I worried about hitting some one while doing the giro. "Practice here then in the milongas you will have better confidence." Javier said.

He switched the music to Di Sarli. I danced with Andrea for one song. After the song, Andrea hold up a fist to my fist. She felt perfect. She wanted to congratulate me. I didn't do giros, however, and she noticed. Ha, I cheated and danced the stuffs that I know the best.

Later, we pretended the space as the floor of the milonga and practiced everything that I did in the milonga. Then Javier fixed the way that I held woman's right hand and explained that man and woman's arm shouldn't be touching. And I practiced some giros. Normal, nature, these are the keys of good tango.

I was feeling that my body and my mind was slow today. So we ended the class a bit earlier. I thought that I reached the point that I have all the elements of good tango: very good embrace, posture, walk, and the right mentality. Now it is a matter of putting that into practice and gaining experience.

They had said some nice things to me that made me feel very proud. Two more classes, I am ready to see the result by the end of my second series of privates with two of the teachers whom I have utmost respect.

Day 18. Private 5. Move to another stage

Today I had a early class. They were teaching a Russian guy while I got there. Andrea was working with him in open embrace. While Javier introduced the concept of dancing selfishly to him, he had drawn such a blank face that I couldn't help but smile. Ha, I was not the only who didn't get it. :)

I was smiling the whole time listening to the class. When the Russian guy asked how he should do the giro, which part of the body goes first, Javier said: " natural" The guy was drawing blank.
" it is like this: you want to go the bathroom very urgently. The bathroom is there. What do you do? You turn and you run to the bathroom. Do you think about which foot goes first, if the hip should turn this way or that way? " Javier was telling him and the same time acting very animatedly. It was the Russian the first class, he would eventually get it.

My class started with Farrol by Pugliese con Javier. We danced two times, fixed two small technical issues. The third time he was very happy. He said,"that is, we would wrap this up. This stage has finished. You dance very nicely, very musical to Di Sarli and Pugliese. The way you dance the music is perfect. Technical is not so important. Now we will move on to dance to half beat. "

D'Arienzo time. I danced with Andrea a few times, and Javier danced with Andrea one song to show me. Well, it is more difficult for me to dance to D'Arienzo than to Pugliese. We worked on the energy of the steps. After the last one, Javier said that it looked good but something was missing. There was not fire, to watch me dancing makes him sleepy.

Ok, good, new challenge. Let's see what Wednesday class will bring.

Day 15. Private 5. Break Through.

Since the second class, Javier has been talking about being selfish in the dance. I vaguely grasped the concept. Maybe it is my upbringing that makes me an unselfish person in life. You dance who you are, as they say in tango.

I started with Andrea. It was fine, except the giro sill felt awkward. So we worked on that. I led Javier. First time," you gotta relaxed more, I felt your tension on your neck and shoulder. " Second time, " I still felt your tension, the movement was not smooth, and you must adjust the embrace."
Third time, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and felt my mind was total emptied. Without thinking much, I just went. I felt effortless. Javier told Andrea: " Perfection does exist."

I danced with Andrea one more song. And corrected two old problems which had been going on since day one. One was that I put Andrea on the outside edge of her foot at salida. The other was that my second step was weird and not straight (habit of dancing back in the tango babe days).

After the correction of the little technical imperfection went on, Javier talked a lot about being selfish. How a man should be a man in the dance (nothing about being macho). What a man's responsibility is in the dance. A man should first be responsible for himself.

I told Andrea that I understood that but it would take me time to build up confidence in myself. I only danced two years. I didn't felt that I had known the structure of tango. Andrea said to me before translated my thoughts to Javier: " You already have everything that you need. The warm embrace, the walk."

Javier sat me down and started "brainwashing" me. :)

"I am going to talk to you about the structure of tango. So that you understand.

First: you dance Tango Argentino, not Tango Espanol, Americano, nor Chino. Second: as you know, in Argentine, there is no structure... ( I laughed) So tango is about improvisation. Improvise means free. You are free to make a decision at the exact moment what you want to do. Listen to your lady what she wants, and tell her what you want. You have to know what you want in the dance as a man. You have to be selfish."

He stand up and showed me. " you have to be perfect, on your own axis all the time." All of sudden, I got it. I got it that at this level where each one already has the technique, I need to focus about my own dance. How to dance perfectly myself. " The more perfect you are, the better for me." Andrea told me.

That's what the being selfish means. I need not worrying about my partner. She has her own feet, her own chip (computer lingo: brain) and she knows how to dance. Think about myself how to be perfect.

I felt so much lighted like a burden was off my shoulder. I danced with Andrea one song. I thought nothing but my own perfection in the music. It was the best one I had danced so far. Andrea was completely satisfied, no pointer. Javier gave me a long look: "The feeling you have in the music gives you the potential of being great." I couldn't believe what I heard. So Andrea translated again. That must be the biggest accomplishment I had in my two years.

Then Javier showed me how to dance to the music. How to pause in the music. He took off his sneakers, and danced in socks one tango with Andrea to show me. It was inspiring to say the least. Then he talked about the beginning, middle and the ending of a song. What goes on in the three sections.

I danced with Andrea without the music. Then the fun began. We played in the dance. At the time, I felt that I was creative and enjoying the dance. "This opens thousands of possibility. You have so many options that it will drive you crazy. " that was Javier's last comment on this Friday afternoon.

I thought it was the class that would eventually transform my dance.

Day 14. Private 3. Secrete of Tango

Today's lesson started with dancing with Javier while Andrea was making mate. One song after, we sat down and had a priest's ball and mate. Then Andrea translated what my problem was in the dance. All my linear movement was fine, but the circular ones I was tension and not smooth. And I was still trying to control the woman. Woman has her own responsibility in the dance. I don't have to take her responsibility (well, not every day I got to dance with Javier or Andrea.).

Then Javier asked me to dance with him without right arm embrace. At first I was nervous, he had to stop me in the middle of the song. The next one he was very satisfied. Then I danced with Andrea the same way without right arm embrace. It was fine except when I did giro she felt a bit uncomfortable.

Then we talked about the right amount of energy in the right arm embrace. The woman should feel the heat from my arm. The embrace should be relaxed, firm yet not forcefully controlled. At times, it should make the woman want to embrace me more. I knew what she talked about making the woman wanting to embrace more. I had that experience with other followers.

Then Javier talked to me about the precision of the energy. How to visualize woman's feet, where they are, what they are doing. How to place them in the exact spot. "Your technical is fine. Now you have to understand this secret." he told me.

In the end he showed me the way the giro that I often do should be executed. Three simply movement. I tried it. One take, BAM, wrap it up. Tango is simple in its essence. To reach that simplicity requires a lot of preparation and work. When you get it, it is like "OH, is that simple?"

Day 13. Private 2 Being Selfish

Today we continued working on small stuffs. First thing was to work on leading woman front ocho and walking out of it. We spend about ten fifteen minutes on different variations of it, adding different color.

I danced with Javier a few times. Javier said Andrea was too good at adapting to the leader. He was wearing boat shoes with flat bottom. So any fault on my movement he felt it. Well, he is no Andrea but certainly better than most of the women I have danced with. After a few adjustment, he actually loved my embrace. Andrea got a kick out of it by watching us dancing. " muy lindo" because we both wore blue jeans and white t-shirt.

What I learned was to slow down more and not to rush the woman. I knew that it was my problem as I had been feeling it in the dance. Not natural as Javier would say. As I got more comfortable, the tension was getting less. Most of the things that they mentioned I fixed it the next song.

The only thing I needed time to digest was what Javier said and I read it from Issac's blog before: follow the mind of the woman. How not to lead all the time. He mentioned that I was always going after the woman.

"Are you married." He asked.
"Nope"
"Solo, an individual. Then why you listen to the woman all the time. Do you have plant at home?..." "What do you do?"
"computer" I answered, didn't get into detail.
"Now I understand, your computer is your wife. Entiendo todo." We all laughed.
"Don't make me quit my job." I told him and Andrea translated.

But seriously I understood what he meant. It was not being sexist nor macho. It was about liberating my dance, so that I could express myself and dance my own style. I had put too much into trying to lead every step. I was still at the stage on leading and following.

Now I should go to the next level: have a conversation, not just listening or speaking. It will take time for me to be able to do it naturally. It will take a equal partner to understand that. At least I know what the goal is, so I can go after it.

Day 12. Private 1. Picked up where I had left.

I was bit anxious before the class. Took the bus from the apartment all the way to Javier's place, costs: $2 pesos. I've been saving quite a few pesos since gotten used to take the buses. Besides, I feel like getting to know the city more.

I felt more comfortable with them this time. We chatted a little. Andrea asked me how things are. I told her that it was hard for me to dance well in New York. Few has the embrace. She laughed: "move here." Don't tempt me!

We started with a Di Sarli. I felt that I was a bit tense, but overall OK. Correction time:

Walk: I had it last time. After dancing in NY for a few months, my walk got weak.

Embrace: I tended to embrace the woman. Nope, let the woman find her embrace first, then finish my embrace with her.

Attitude: Grounded and relax. Open up the elbow, expand the chest.

Giros: Let the woman go first, then follow.

There were other techniques that will free myself from leading but dancing. The second song, I had fixed the walk, the embrace and the attitude. I was still not sure the mechanics of the giros.

Then Javier continued stressing the concept of feeling nature in the dance, how to resolve problem with solution. It will take me some time to digest what he and Andrea said. I know if I understand it, my dance will go up another level.

Tina arrived around 8:00pm for her private. Since we started late, she was waiting on the balcony.

I got more comfortable with Andrea and was playing with the music at some point. She was actually playing along and seemed to enjoy it. There were some information to be digested. But I was glad that there was no major issue to work on. And at a point, Javier actually was happy with the way I handled pauses and the flow of the dance.

Time flied, I felt exhausted at the end of the class. Went back to the apartment and had dinner. Took a nap before heading out to a milonga.

Day 11. Canning

Had a slow day. Took it easy during daytime and went out to Zival to pick up a few more CDs. I had been looking for a particular one: Grandes Del tango 16 Miguel Calo. This was third time that I came back to look for it. The guy kept telling me come back manana. Surely it was not on the rack. It was in stock, just that they never bothered to put it on the rack.

I saw the guy and spoke with him: " it is not there." Finally he gestured me to the counter, punched in a few keys, looked, picked up the phone and spoke a few words rapidly. Then he told me:"two minutes." and ran upstairs. Four minutes after he came down with the CD that I'd been looking for. Actually I just wanted one version of " Nada" from the album. But I was happy to finally have it. This time I have bought about 35 cds, which brings my tango collection over 150 cds and 20GB of itune. Quite a collection to sort through.

Went to Canning around 12:00pm. It was a slower night than last Monday, because of the rainy weather. Saw Tina and CDT sitting at a front row table. Waved at them and sat down a couple of tables behind them.

The floor was actually not very crowded. The floor craft was semi decent, not that many nuevo turn close embrace kind of dancers. First dance went to a portena who doesn't know who Javier Rodriguez or Andrea Misse is. "Too many Javier Rodriguez here " she said. I smiled.

What a contrary to our idea of tango stars. Here all the youtube heros are just regular folks who happen to dance tango. Julio y Corina were sitting a few tables away. When I danced with CDT, we were dancing right behind them. The nervousness of dancing right next to the top dancers is gone. To me, they are just another couple sharing the same floor. And they are better not space hogs. :) (most of them aren't)

Then I saw the gringa with whom I danced at Sunderland. I was very happy to see her. She later came over and we had a very nice tanda. Her embrace was so good. She had very clear and strong foot work that I knew exactly where her foot was. She was also having this "disassociation" that is typical of very good followers. It was a very very pleasant tanda with her, even though the music was uninspiring. She mentioned that my postures, especially the way my left arm holds, reminded her what her private teacher: Alejandra Martinian said about man's left hand should place like holding a piano. I told her that it was taught by Javier. We smiled. It was so nice to have danced with someone who learned the same way. We exchanged our e-mails after the tanda . And she went off to dance with a friend of hers.

Gus came in with his friend. It was so happened that one of the seats at my table was available. So he sat down right next to me and we had some chats. He was sounding more and more like Javier. " I have headache watching these people dancing. So many bad postures. The leader's head leans back, stomach sticks out. No wonder they can only do giros, can't walk." I agreed: few people can walk straight on the floor except a few old milongueros.

Talked about old milongueros: Tina introduced me to the low key but respectfully PS. I watched him dance. The 72 old man still has impeccable posture: straight back, strong lead and quiet walk. I am hoping that I could learn some Milonga con Traspie from him. I love Milonga con Traspie. A tanda of milonga (again so-so music selection) with Tina later, I was determined to improve my MCT. I could feel the potential that I have at it.

I had my good share of tango tonight. I was happier. The rest of the night I just chatted with Tina and her friend and watched the floor. The music wasn't really good. To be honest, my experience with female DJs hasn't been fantastic so far. Their selection of tandas tended to be on the even tempo side, lack of fire and energy; too mellow for my taste. In tango, man dictates the interpretation of the music. Andrea once told me: " you have to let me know how you want the song danced." I need to feel the music. The music that a DJ plays should get me off my seat and look around for partner. I didn't feel that urge once during the whole night. Gus felt the same way tonight: " What's wrong with this DJ?"

I couldn't wait to hear what Javier and Andrea say about my dance later tonight. Stay tuned...

Day 11. Nostalgia

Woke up this morning feeling down. It might sound strange to some people, but I am actually missing New York. It might be the fatigue. That would effect one's mood. Or it might be the beer that I had before went to bed last night. Or the combination of both.

I logged on to Facebook to checked out the photos of last night's milonga in New York, posted by a fellow tanguera. Seeing the familiar faces put a little smile on my face. As I said before, it is not where you dance, it is with who you dance.

Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying Buenos Aires and enjoying the friends here as more of them are coming. I am experiencing tango in different ways and absorbing it from different perspectives. I have been living in two different cultures: Chinese and American. Now through tango I am living in the third.

Sometimes, you don't miss something or someone until they are thousands miles away. I am sure I will be missing Buenos Aires, like I did, and the people whom I grow to like by the time I get back to New York. As I was younger, I had this strong feeling of nostalgia. Maybe it was because I went to live in a foreign land by myself when I was young. That feeling has gone for a few years while I had been living a more stable life: stable job, stable friends and a stable relationship (even it was rocky). One day , se fue, gone the relationship, gone the life that I had planned. Though I still have the stable job and stable friends.

My heart has found a place in tango. It is also a place that I travel with caution. I learned to shield and turn away certain feeling in the dance. And there are certain songs that I am reluctant yet longing to dance to. Tango without feeling is very unsatisfied. Feeling in tango is hard to find. I savor each of those deeply connected tandas. Each of them is nostalgic.

Day 10. Barrio Chino, El Beso

Woke up in the afternoon. Felt really sluggish. Had a Heineken for lunch and went to have a nap till early evening. Text the tango bloggers and decided to go for Chinese food at Barrio Chino.

It had been raining hard the last few days. Humbolt y Santa Fe, exactly where I stayed last time, was flooded. That section was closed. The taxi had to take another route. I felt lucky that I didn't stay the same apartment this time. I would have had unpleasant experience.

We went to the same restaurant. The food was decent enough. Every one was full and felt sleepy afterwards. The fatigue had been slowly seeped in. I didn't feel the urge to dance. Tina y CDT were going to El Beso. We took the bus 60 back.

I went to El Beso after dropped by the apartment and changed. I thought I lost the interest of dancing this night. Only danced a tanda with the portena whom I danced before. And a fucking guy led his partner into my elbow. He stopped and pull my elbow down in the middle of the dance. I was pissed. It must be my look. If I were a porteno, he wouldn't have done it.

I didn't say anything but kept my elbow where it was. This is the way I dance. I don't change just because you tell me so. Who are you to tell me how to hold my arm? I am a very sensitive and careful dancer who knows enough to take shit from a schmuck. Later I saw him lecturing the fellowers with whom he danced.

During the break in between songs, he came at me again. Pointed to my arm and said something like: per favor, keep it in. I gave him one of my stares, turned my face to the portena I was. dancing with. She shook her head, and told me in English " Don't mind him." I mumble: "stupid Locos." She nodded.

That was enough to finish the night for me. I didn't feel like dancing again. I chatted with Gus a bit, who came in later and sat next to me by the bar. I was getting impatient with the scene. Maybe I was tired, or the level of dancing was low. I felt uninspired watching the floor.

I took off early around 2:00am.

Day 9. Consagrados, Sunderland, La Virtua

Took a night off on Friday. Too tired to go out. Stayed in watching the 13 going on 30 by Jennefer Garnder. Actually learned a few words in Spanish because of the subtitle.

Saturday, woke up early around 11:00am and had breakfast before went to my 1:00pm massage session. Relaxed and got ready for a night of tango.

First stop: los Consagrados, a milonga para portenos. Got there around 7:00pm. Cherie y Ruben were already there. So was Tina. The group got bigger as the night went on. By now, I have some regular portenas to dance with. We had champagne, chatted and time went by before I knew it. It was 10:15pm when the La Cumparsita was played.

Time to hit the next stop: Sunderland. It was a trip out from Nino Bien. The cab driver didn't even know the exact location. TG, Tina was there to give direction and talked to driver. 30 peso and thirty minutes later, we were at Sunderland. Again without reservation, Tina used her magic to get us a table right next to the floor.

The place was less crowded than last week. I actually enjoyed the tandas with Tina and La Chemin du Tango, who joined us later. Javier y Andrea will be performing on March 15. We are planning to come back and have a big table that night.

Geraldin and Ezequiel came in around 2:00am and sat at the next table. Tina couldn't help but kept looking at Geraldin's feet. "Those, must be custom made." Women and shoes.



Gustavo came in his posse. We chatted a little about milongas. He's been away from the popular ones now. That's why I haven't seen him around till this night.

We left around 3:15am and caught a cab to La Viruta. It was my first time to Viruta. It is more like a night club for people who dance tango. Dim lights, young crowd,gorgeous women...good place for pick up, flirtation and muchos besos. It is an interesting place. I might come back another time to explore.

It was 6:30am Sunday morning by the time I got back to the apartment. It had been a long day. :)